


Stars Upon the Moonless Night

by RedAlgaeBloom



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Anime setting, F/M, Identity Porn, M/M, Past InuKag, Set about 100 years after kagome came back, one-sided Inucest due to mistaken identity, open ending that can be read as future inucest or as a budding familial relationship, parental relationship between Sesshomaru and Rin.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-10 00:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20518622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedAlgaeBloom/pseuds/RedAlgaeBloom
Summary: There was something familiar about her, about her smell, about the way she held herself. Something that drew Sesshomaru in and turned the human into a mystery that he just could not let go.In which Inuyasha’s human transformation does more than just change his hair color and make his ears disappear and Sesshomaru meets a woman that he finds himself unexpectedly drawn to.





	1. Moonless Nights

**Author's Note:**

> There is pretty heavy InuKag in this story in the form of Inuyasha mourning her so if you really dislike that pairing then this story might not be for you. This story also contains one-sided inucest due to mistaken identity so if that also isn't your cup of tea then probably best to turn back now.
> 
> This part is written in Inuyasha's POV, the next will be Sesshomaru's

### CHAPTER 1: Moonless nights

It had been 15 years since Kagome’s death and he was still mourning her as if he had just lost her yesterday. he knew she wouldn’t want this for him, that she would want me to move on, but with a life as long as his what was 15 years of mourning? 

It wasn’t just her though, it was everyone. Kōga had left first, sure he was still alive and had still visited from time to time but he had a wife and family and his duties to his clan seemed to take up more and more of his life until it was rare to see him at all. Shippo had gone next, off to his demon fox training and though the kid still visited regularly he had obviously started to make a life of his own among other foxes. Inuyasha knew it was important for him to do so, to have friends that were his own age and like him, but it had still been hard to pretend he didn't miss the kid. Miroku has gone next, far sooner then Inuyasha expected until he realized that fifty years had passed and he was lucky to have had him for that long. Sango wasn’t quick to follow him though, holding on for another ten years for his children and grandchild but eventually time had gotten to her too. 

he had lost Kagome last, a miracle that he was still thankful for. He had loved all his friends and all of their passings hurt, but Kagome had been so much worse. She had been the woman he loved, would always love. She was the woman he waited three years for, checking on a magical well every three days for her return. She was the woman who had seen him for who he was and loved every part of him and taught him how to love himself too. The woman he had spent 70 years of his life with, far longer than he ever expected to get with her. And now she was the woman whose grave he visited every three days, perhaps, stupidly, waiting for her to return again. It wouldn’t happen this time, he knew it wouldn’t, but some deep part of him couldn’t pull away. Some deep part of him kept thinking _ maybe. _

Inuyasha had let the sun set on him often in that graveyard and he wanted to stay, to simply let the sun go down upon him, but tonight was his transformation and, as safe as he had made this land he knew he couldn’t linger. The graves were far on the outskirts of town. The village was growing fast and they wanted to be sure it would be undisturbed by the ever-growing fields and huts. It meant that the walk between one location and the next was long, and though he could run it and get home faster he just hadn't found the energy for that. Not since Kagome had passed. 

He sat in front of Kagome’s grave, in front of Sango, Miroku, and Kaede’s graves. In front of Rin’s grave who had returned to them when her legs had gotten too weak to allow her to travel any more. She had died five years ago but even in her advanced age, she had never lost her childlike wonder. Every so often when he came here Inuyasha would see flowers on her grave and know his brother still visited her. She had done wonders to him, changed him in ways that Inuyasha had been both jealous of and in awe of. That a small child could start to thaw my brother’s frozen heart was a wonder but she had somehow managed it and his brother had dotted on her for her whole life in return. Sesshomaru still did not truly like humans as a whole, he still hesitated with disgust in his eyes whenever he was forced to enter a human settlement, but he seemed to have come to accept that individual humans had some potential for merit and is slowed his whip and sword. 

Part of Inuyasha liked to think that maybe he had done the same for his brother regarding half-demons. That the strength and power he had shown over the years, surpassing their own father’s, had been enough to show him that half-demons are more than just scum, that they deserved a chance too. But that might be wishful thinking. Still, Inuyasha knew his brother treated him better these days, that they could have actual conversations with one another. They didn’t go out of their way to see each other and family dinners were still something that was impossible to imagine but he knew that they had made progress.

With the sun sinking lower into the horizon he knew he was out of time. He leaned forward and press a soft kiss to Kagome’s gravestone like He always did and said softly, “until I see you again.” The walk back to his hut brought his sense of loss creeping back upon him with each step. His hut had become a thing of dread, a place where he both loved and hated being. In the last fifteen years, it had become a shrine to Kagome and their life together. Everything within it still smelt like her, like _ them _, though it had been fading since her death.

The sun started to set as he settled himself in around the small fire he had built in the center of the hut, but as his senses started to fade he felt a feeling of panic come over him, not because he was becoming human, but because he was losing Kagome’s _ smell. _It was a familiar panic these last couple years, but tonight was worse, he couldn’t find a single trace of the smell on anything any longer like this and it quickly became too much. To be in the hut he had shared so long with her and not be able to smell her was too much. it suddenly reminded him that this was what the future held for him, a life without Kagome, without even her smell to bring him comfort. 

It scared him and he quickly realized he could not be there anymore. Not there in that hut, not when he couldn’t smell her any longer. Like a man possessed he dug through her old clothes and found the only one that had a semblance of _ her _within its fibers. He couldn’t find her scent, but incense clung to the old yukata and calmed him just a little. He found himself slipping out of his own robes, not the fire rat, Kagome had broken him of the habit of only ever wearing one outfit, and dressed in her old yukata instead. 

He left the hut then, surrounded by the familiar fabric, and didn’t look back. He left his sword and he didn’t let himself think about why. He told himself that his forest was safe, It had been safe for a long time, that he wouldn’t need it and couldn’t use it as a human anyway. He knew it was an excuse, but admitting to it would be to admit just how far he had fallen with her death. Kagome wouldn’t want that for him, so he made excuses and kept walking.

he knew where his feet were taking him: the bone eaters well and the Goshinboku. He knew the path well, even though he had had little reason to visit this place since Kagome had come back to him to stay. Still, even knowing the path it was dark and he stumbled often. He knew he was making a lot of noise, even with his bare feet, but there was nothing he could do to fix it. 

‘That was probably what drew him in’ Inuyasha would think later when he had time, ‘the oddity of a creature stumbling around in the dark mixed with smells that he probably half recognized even if they were old and worn, he had always had a better nose than me after all.’

He had stumbled again, the trail being heavily overgrown, hurting his feet and cursing under his breath and he continued to push forward until a familiar voice reached his ears. 

“While this area is mostly free of demon’s there are still other creatures that would take joy in ripping a human apart.” The deep baritone called out causing Inuyasha to freeze. He looked around desperately for where the voice had come from, hoping that he was mistaken but knowing he was not. His brother approached out of the forest, he always seemed to glow in the moonlight but there was no moon tonight and so he looked shockingly dull as he moved forward. “If you are looking for the village you are heading the wrong way and if you are running from it then you have chosen a poor night to do so.”

Did Sesshomaru not recognize him? He thought, before remembering that he was in a woman’s yukata and had no sword. Besides his hairstyle, there would be no reason for Sesshomaru to recognize him, not like _ this. _

Even without his ethereal glow Sesshomaru looked as immaculate as ever in his armor with swords at his hip. His furisode had changed over the years and Inuyasha knew that the one he wore now, with pink, white, and yellow sakura blossoms against a blood-red river was a gift from Rin, something she had taken to giving him once she was old enough and had enough money to do so. They were never as fine as the ones Sesshomaru bought himself, but he never failed to look elegant in anything he wore. 

“I-” Inuyasha started before realizing he was subconsciously deepening his voice as he was used to and starting again. He hoped Sesshomaru would just assume he was frightened and that he was right, that Sesshomaru did not recognize him. “I must have gotten turned around. I was looking for the village and the night caught me unaware.” He lied, swallowing as Sesshomaru stopped a good ten feet in front of him, studying him. 

When he had been younger and the androgyny of teenage years still clung to him he could hide the extent of his transformation, but as the decades went by and his body matured the changes upon his human night became more pronounced, changing not only his hair and ears but smoothing out his jaw, softening his cheekbones, expanding his hips. His hair even changed, not just in color but in curl. He knew he had gotten his unruly curls from his father but on his human nights, they too vanished, flattening out to the long flowing strands that his mother once had at such length. A part of him hated the change, not only for the human weakness but for the femininity it brought his typically heavily masculine features. Yet another part of him loved it. As he had grown he had seen more and more of his mother disappear from him when he looked in the mirror. Now It was only on moonless nights that he could truly see her in himself and if only for that, he loved this transformation.

Right now though it seemed he might be able to use this specific aspect of his transformation to his advantage. Sesshomaru’s expression was unreadable but he could tell by the silence that Sesshomaru was confused by him. He knew that he smelled completely human and that the yukata he wore smelled of dust, age, and incense more than anything else. Still, it had been within his and Kagome’s house for long enough there were probably traces of both of them within the fibers but Sesshomaru had never visited them there, he likely did not know what their mingled scents truly smelled like. Maybe if he hoped enough Sesshomaru might just think the smell was _ her _ unique scent.

Inuyasha brushed his hair back over his shoulders with a hand, hoping to make his hairstyle look less like his own and quickly cleared his throat, drawing Sesshomaru’s expression back to his face. “You mentioned the village is in the other direction? In that case, I am going to get going.” He pointed over his shoulder, “Sorry for getting in your way.” he added, knowing just how much Sesshomaru hated people that got in his way, and he slowly started to back away, keeping himself facing the demon like any smart human would do and, in doing so, catching how Sesshomaru’s eyes tracked him. 

He thought he was going to get a pass, make it through this moment without incident and without Sesshomaru learning this secret about himself, but it seemed that he was to have no such luck. When Sesshomaru was finally out of his sight and he finally turned to go the bastard was standing right in front of him again. 

“Where are your shoes?” He asked and Inuyasha could see Sesshomaru’s nose twitching, studying his scent more closely. The question had obviously been an excuse to approach, though why Sesshomaru even bothered with one Inuyasha had no idea. Still, he looked down at his feet, dirtied by his trip through the forest, and glanced back up at Sesshomaru trying to figure out what he was thinking. Hopefully, he was thinking about the stupidity of the human woman stumbling barefoot in a forest in the dead of night and _ not _ that the human woman smelled suspiciously like his brother Inuyasha. 

“I don’t have any,” I answered easily enough, It was true after all, he hadn’t had shoes for almost all my life so the lie was easy. Even Kagome couldn’t get him to like the things.

“Where have you come from?” Sesshomaru pressed on and Inuyasha took a step back, he did not like the harsh look on his face. Part of him knew the reaction was an automatic human response to the creature in front of him but Sesshomaru seemed so much more _ demonic _ then normal. 

“I don’t know why it's any of your business where I’m coming from!” Inuyasha lashed out, doing the only thing he ever did when he felt cornered. He yelled at him which genuinely seemed to surprise Sesshomaru. “Now _ you _ are standing in _ my _ way so either make yourself helpful and lead me to the village or leave me alone!” 

He wasn't sure what response he expected to get out of Sesshomaru at that point, maybe a swift death, but it certainly wasn’t the one he got. He watched as his brother seemed to straighten up, just a little, and Inuyasha realized he had been _ leaning _toward him to scent him before he nodded.

“Very well, you may follow me. I will be passing close to the village in my travels.” And then he turned and started walking away. Inuyasha knew how fast Sesshomaru could be, but he also knew his brother almost always adjusted his stride so that his companions, whether it was Rin of that little toad could keep up. Now he could see that Sesshomaru was going purposeful slow for him too and it was a surprise to see. Was Sesshomaru like this to all lost humans he ran into these days? Did he lead them all back to safety through dangerous situations? Was his brother actually _ nice _ to lost humans?!

He realized that he didn’t know and he almost wanted to ask but couldn’t bring his voice to work well enough to ask it. Eventually, he gave up, he doubted Sesshomaru would answer anyway.

They existed the forest after only a few more stumbles on Inuyasha’s part that Sesshomaru ignored and they eventually found themselves on the main road to the village. It was still a distance out but the huts were evident. 

“I will leave you now.” Sesshomaru said and Inuyasha pulled his gaze away from the village to the demon next to him who was, once again, watching him with a curious gaze. “You should run into no further problems here.” He nodded and turned to go. Inuyasha noticed it then, the flowers in Sesshomaru’s hand, and he realized why Sesshomaru was there.

“Those are beautiful flowers.” He called out without really thinking about it and watched Sesshomaru freeze for a moment. Inuyasha swallowed nervously. “They must be for someone important.” He added cautiously.

Inuyasha saw Sesshomaru’s gaze turn down slightly, towards the flowers in his hand, before simply walking away.

Inuyasha watched him go until he vanished into the trees again. He felt his heart do something strange as he did, knowing he was going to the graveyard and wondering if Sesshomaru was mourning just like him. He finally turned and headed back to the village. He had planned on being out all night but It seemed like his night had different plans for him.

—————-

The next time he saw Sesshomaru it was another new moon and he’s out in the same yukata, motivated by the same force that drove him from his hut before: the loss of Kagome’s scent in the air. He knew he would have to do something about this soon, even in his usual form the scent of her was fading behind his own and he knew that he was only holding onto a ghost. It couldn’t last and he needed to move on but he didn’t know how.

This night he was simply wandering the edge of the forest with no destination in mind, his eyes glancing up to the stars as he followed the old road leading to and from the village. Kagome and he used to take long walks down here, watching the sunsets, studying the stars. Kagome had always loved them, even as she got older. In her time stars had been almost impossible to see and so she had never lost her appreciation for them. 

He was pulled from his musings when a familiar presence appeared on the road a distance in front of him, nothing more than a white shape really but that shape was unmistakable. Inuyasha thought about turning and going. He didn’t want to see his brother again like this, but he knew that his brother had already seen him and that turning and running might draw even more attention to himself. 

So instead he moved slightly off the path, giving Sesshomaru room to pass and hoping he would ignore the human woman that was on the road with him.

it seemed luck wasn’t on his side though as instead Sesshomaru stopped before him. They were both silent, Inuyasha forcing his eyes up to meet his brother’s who was looking at him with his characteristic blank gaze. “Can I help you?” He finally bit out when the silence became too much “I’m not lost this time. I’m on the main road. you can keep going.” He said, hating that his brother was still studying him.

Something was pressed into his chest in response and his hands came up automatically to hold it before it could drop. He looked down and found, in his hands, a pair of warazori. “Since it seems that you still do not own a pair of shoes.” He heard Sesshomaru comment but he was too transfixed, looking down at the ‘gift’ in his hands to do anything else as Sesshomaru walked away.

It was probably for the best that Sesshomaru didn’t linger, at least it means he wouldn’t be found out. Still, He wondered how long Sesshomaru had been carrying these shoes in hopes of running into him again.

—————

Inuyasha knew why he was doing this again, he knew exactly why he was doing it, but he didn’t let himself think about is as he combed his hair out into a slightly different fashion and fressed the old yukata what had become standard. He even paused at the door before sighing and slipping on the shoes that Sesshomaru had gifted him. He hated shoes. Hated them, and yet here he was stepping into a pair. 

The night was slightly colder than the previous ones had been but he ignored it for his nighttime walk, allowing himself to get lost in his memories once again and trying to ignore the odd way the shoes made his feet feel. He traveled again down the main road, but this time he had a destination in mind. About thirty minutes from town the road turned and one side sloped down making a grassy incline. The area was quiet and the grass was always soft and the slope of the hill was perfect for laying down and watching the stars. He used to come here often with his friends, Miroku and Sango’s kids running around and having fun rolling down the incline. It was a place that held only fond memories for him and so he sat and thought and tried to pretend he wasn’t waiting.

It was hours before a noise next to him started him from his thoughts and caused him to tense. He knew this area is safe, he and his friends had made it that way and he still made sure, but he still can’t help it, he was fully human right then and it always put him on edge.

As he turned his head though he is met with a familiar sight of white hakama and as he followed them up his gaze found Sesshomaru’s who was blankly glancing down at him.

“You know. If I didn’t know any better, I would almost think you were coming here to see me.” He couldn’t help but tease, ignoring the fact that he had come out here for that exact reason himself. Whatever it was Sesshomaru was up to, whatever it was that he was doing, it had Inuyasha curious enough to put on _ shoes _.

Sesshomaru wasn’t saying anything though, and so Inuyasha looked him over for a long moment, trying to see if his brother's appearance gave anything away to what was going on with him. He didn't see anything off, though he noticed that there were no flowers in his hands this time, it was late so perhaps he had already been to the graves.

Right when he thought Sesshomaru intended to spend the whole night simply staring at him he finally spoke, his voice holding an odd note of uncertainty. “You are not a demon.” He said and Inuyasha blinked at that, wondering what Sesshomaru was seeing in him, “you are not a ghost or spirit either, and yet I only seem to see you on moonless nights when most humans would be smart enough to hide away in their homes.” He narrowed his eyes, “why is that?”

Inuyasha wasn’t sure if Sesshomaru was actually asking him or if he was simply speaking to himself but he answered anyway. He indicated up to the stars above them and relaxed back into the grass as he had been before Sesshomaru had appeared.

“I like to come out and look at the stars,” he told him. It wasn’t a lie, though he supposed it could be considered a half-truth. “And they are always the brightest on moonless nights.” He added, glancing over at Sesshomaru who was no longer looking at him but up at said stars. They stayed like that in silence for what felt like a very long time and it was almost comfortable in an odd way before Inuyasha finally asked: “You don’t have flowers this time. I was starting to think you always carried them.” 

Again Sesshomaru didn’t answer but he did turn to leave. Inuyasha sighed as he watched him go. Well, whatever this was, it certainly gave him something to do to break up his loneliness and visits to his friend's grave.

———

Inuyasha knew what he had to do with his and Kagome’s hut. He knew it was far too big for him anyway. He and Kagome had built a large one with multiple rooms in hopes of the family they would one day have. Things had never workout though, not for them, and though those rooms had gone to use: for Shippo, for Rin, for Miroku and Sango’s kids and grandkids when they needed them, now they just seemed lonely and empty and filled with dreams that had never come true and memories that were both sweet and painful.

He stood in one of the rooms and thought about Sango’s youngest grandchild. She was expecting soon and the hut that she and her husband currently lived in was far too small for a new family, one that was likely to grow fast. He could give this to them, trade his hut for their smaller one. The husband would help him move. He could keep everything, he wouldn’t lose anything.

But there was that pain in his chest and it hurts so much to think about. If he gave up this house then what would be next? Her clothes? Her books? Her bow? They had built a life in this home, it wasn’t the life they had planned but it was _ theirs _and letting it go...it hurt to even consider it.

He told himself that he just had to get through this. He just had to force it, a little bit of pain to help him move on. He could do this, no matter how much it hurts.

————

When Sesshomaru found him on the next moonless night he was crying silently to himself. He had become less restrictive with his tears over the last seventy years, Kagome had shown him how, had shown him how cleansing it could be and had taught him that he was no less for crying. He had cried often in her arms for so many things, but now he doesn't have her arms to cry in. Instead he had cried out on the same hill he had watched the stars from with Kagome for seven decades and tried to remind himself he had other places that he shared memories with her. He did not need their hut. He _ didn’t. _

“Why are you crying?” Sesshomaru’s voice came to him and he couldn’t bother to look up. He hadn’t heard his brother's approach and he found himself wondering, suddenly, if he had come out here expecting his brother to find him. If he had come out here hoping for his comfort or if he had simply forgotten. It hardly mattered, his brother had never been one for comfort towards anyone but Rin and maybe his stupid toad. He was hardly about to comfort a random human he had only met three times.

“Do demons not cry?” He asked, his voice muffled by his head being hidden against his knees which he had curled up against his chest. It wasn’t a proper way to sit in a yukata but he didn’t care.

He was surprised a moment later to feel the grass move beside him but still, he did not look, then he heard his brother say “Not often, but we do.” It was a confession he had never expected to hear. It was enough to get him to glance up and look at Sesshomaru who was staring up at the stars.

“What do demons cry about?” He found himself asking. He knew what he cried about, but he was a half-demon. He had to wonder if full-blooded demons cried for the same things. 

Sesshomaru turned and looked at him. There were flowers in his hands again and Inuyasha knew the answer before Sesshomaru even said it. “I imagine that we cry for the same reasons you humans do.”

Inuyasha swallowed, not sure what to say to that. He had never seen his brother cry, not even at Rin’s funeral, but he realized he must have at some point. Had he cried before she had died when he realized he was going to lose her as Inuyasha had with Kagome? Had he gone and cried alone after where no one would see him? Had he transformed into his true form and taken to the skies to cry among the clouds? 

He didn’t know how to take the fact that his brother had just admitted to having anything in common to humans or that admitting that he had ever cried, and so he did the only thing he could. He wiped his eyes and changed the topic.

“You’ve brought more flowers.” He said softly, voice still raw from his tears, “I hope I’m not keeping you from someone.” He added, knowing exactly who he was keeping Sesshomaru from and slightly hoping that the remainder of the flowers would drive his brother away again like it had last time.

Instead, he watched as Sesshomaru looked down at the flowers and brought them up to inspect them “They are for my daughter” was the response Inuyasha got instead and, for the second time that night he found himself shocked. He had always instinctively known that Sesshomaru had seen Rin as his daughter, but to hear him say it was as much a surprise as hearing that he cried. Maybe his tears had somehow made his brother feel like opening up? Maybe something about him, here, like this remind his brother or Rin? He doubted it though. Rin had always been a happy child and never once had he seen her cry or look miserable. 

Inuyasha knew he always looked miserable and sad these days. 

“Oh.” He found himself saying, the shock evident in his tone, he didn’t know what to say beyond that and so he simply asked: “do you...want to tell me about her?”

Sesshomaru seemed to actually ponder that for a moment but when the reply came it made the world seem slightly less off-center. “no.” He had answered and stood in the fluid movement. He didn’t move away just yet though, instead, he dropped something and Inuyasha found a fabrick wrapped package next to him. “I hope you find fewer reasons to cry upon the next new moon.” He heard Sesshomaru say before he was gone, leaving Inuyasha alone again with his surprise.

—————

It was a kimono and Inuyasha realized it was the first new piece of clothing he had gotten since Kagome’s death. He remembered that Sesshomaru used to buy Rin new Kimonos every time he would visit and he had to wonder if his brother was trying to replace Rin with him and what that would mean for him if he was.

He wonders if his brother was as lonely as him.

—————-

His new hut was small, but the way Sango’s grandchild cried and hugged him when he offered the exchange made it worth it. Even knowing he had brought someone joy It had hurt to pack away Kagome’s stuff, her clothes, and her books and her priestess tools, some of which still sizzled his skin when he touched them. There wasn’t space in his new hut to have everything out like before. Now he really did have to make a ‘shrine’ to her. 

He had pictures from the device Kagome had brought from the future but the ones they had taken in their youth were already starting to fade so he left them protected inside of books. In a corner of his new hut, he placed the chest of her belongings and, upon the wall, he hung her bow, her arrows, and the prayer beads that had been around his neck for so long. She had eventually removed them, in her old age before she died, and Inuyasha had been surprised to find he didn’t want her to. He had wanted to keep them on, as a memory of her, but she had kissed him and pulled them off and smiled at him with such immense love that it made Inuyasha’s eyes burned. She said then “I want you to move on Inuyasha. I want you to continue to _ live _ to _ love _ and to _ exist _. You have given me the most wonderful life, the best I could have hoped for, and I want you to keep going, to continue to have a wonderful life beyond me.”

She had kissed him again and tears had slipped from his face. He had known, then, that their time together was growing short. “You love so easily, no matter how much you try and hide it. Let yourself love again.” There were tears in her old eyes then as she cupped his cheeks, “You’re going to be fine Inuyasha.” She had promised him and, somehow, he found it impossible to not believe her, “You’re going to be just fine.” 

This new hut didn’t smell like her at all, it never had, but at least now he wouldn’t have to notice every time her scent faded just that little bit more. Maybe now he could start to let himself move on like Kagome had wanted him to.

—————

“Her name was Rin.” Sesshomaru told him as they sat under the stars. Inuyasha shifted his gaze to his brother. How long had they been doing this now? A year perhaps? Maybe a little more? time seemed to work a little differently when you only met someone one day out of a month. It had started to feel like a routine, like visiting the graves. Inuyasha would transform, wash as much of his scent from his skin, dress it either Kagome’s old yukata or one of the kimono’s Sesshomaru had gifted him and make his way to this slope off the road. 

They had spent most of those nights next to each other in silence and if had been oddly comfortable. Inuyasha still had no idea what Sesshomaru was doing or thinking but it felt nice to have quiet companionship. Tonight had been different though, there had been something in the air, a contemplation that had made Inuyasha afraid to speak and break it until Sesshomaru had started to talk. He told him about Rin, about the girl he had found and saved, about her life with him, then away from him, then with him again, and finally, her old age which had taken him from her side forever. His expression didn’t change as he told it and he kept his gaze to the stars as he did, but Inuyasha somehow knew that this was important. This was big. He knew this story from Rin, but Sesshomaru had never said a thing. 

“She died six years ago today.” he finished. It was the most he had ever heard his brother speak and finally, he felt like he could talk again. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, and his words came out fully sincere, sadness and sympathy dripping from each syllable. He had told Sesshomaru the same thing at her funeral, but it hadn’t been like this. Hadn’t been as raw as this. Sesshomaru had been stoic and quiet that day and perhaps he hadn’t been ready for such companionship, but tonight there was an openness and Inuyasha could almost believe his brother needed the comfort. It was confirmation that his brother was out here for the same reason he was: to feel less alone while mourning the loss of a loved one.

“It was expected. She was human.” He went on, and the distance between them seemed too far now but Inuyasha wasn’t sure what he would do if he closed it. Hug him? Would his brother even allow it? “These things happen. You do not have a long lifespan.”

“How long did you have with her?” He asked as if learning this information for the first time. It was so easy now to pretend but it was becoming harder to keep his distance

“Eighty-two years.” 

“Was it enough?” 

“No.”

Something in Inuyasha’s heart ached for himself and his brother stuck here upon a hill, mourning two women long after their deaths. 

——————

“Red looks good on you.” He heard Sesshomaru's comment as he walked him back towards the village that night. Their time together had started to drag longer and longer and Inuyasha kept having to remind himself that he had to get home before dawn. Sesshomaru had taken to walking him to the edge of the village now, though he still refused to enter. Inuyasha wasn’t sure if it was because he still disliked groups of humans or if it was because of the memories within. It was probably both.

“It’s always been a favorite color of mine.” He confessed, looking down at the red Kimono with gold and orange leaves embroidered on it. It was the third Sesshomaru had brought him. When he had demanded to know why, Sesshomaru had simply told him that he had assumed Inuyasha only owned one outfit seeing as Sesshomaru had only ever seen him in _ one _. It felt odd wearing a gift like this from his brother and It hadn’t taken a long for him to give in and start wearing them on human nights, but he had to admit that he had fine taste and a good sense for comfortable fabric. 

“Perhaps I will bring you a violet one next time.” He heard his brother comment and he tensed as he suddenly felt a hand on his chin, tilting his head up so Sesshomaru could catch his eyes. Sesshomaru had never touched him before, not like this. The touch was too intense, too intimate, and Inuyasha could feel there a deeper meaning in it, one that made his face too warm, though he didn’t know why.

“Yes.” He heard his brother say softly as he remained there, frozen in confusion as his brother studied his face. “Violet to bring out your eyes.” And then his touch was gone and he turning and walking back the way they had just come and Inuyasha let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

“What the _ fuck _ was that?!” 

————-

Inuyasha realized that night that he had no idea where this _ thing _ with Sesshomaru was going anymore or what it even was. He ended up almost pacing a hole in his new huts floor as he tried to figure it out. He had thought that it had simply been Sesshomaru mourning Rin and looking for companionship like he had been. But there had been something to that touch, to the way Sesshomaru had looked at him, that had set his nerves on end.

He had a pretty good idea as to why Sesshomaru had started talking to him that first time, the oddity of his scent yet the familiarity of it would have driven Inuyasha to do the same. Curiosity had driven Sesshomaru to interact with him those first few human nights and curiosity to see what the hell Sesshomaru would do with this ‘human woman’ had driven him out those early nights too.

But now? He hadn’t thought about that initial curiosity in months and it certainly hadn’t been what had driven him to continue to meet with Sesshomaru. For him, it had been companionship that had pushed him out the door each night, that had driven him to see his brother. It was the need for someone, anyone, to spend time with. But what had driven his brother to continue to seek him out? To seek a _ human _ out? 

He realized suddenly that he hadn’t been paying attention, that he hadn’t been watching his brother, that he had gotten so lost in his own mourning that he had failed to remember that, for Sesshomaru, he wasn't interacting with Inuyasha at all. Inuyasha had been lost himself in thinking this companionship was for him when his brother did not _ know it was him_. His brother simply saw him as a human woman and inuyahsa knew nothing of what his brother thought of her. Of this human woman he sat with once a month. He didn’t even know if he watched the stars or _her_. He didn’t know and suddenly he felt like he had missed something very very important.

————-

He met the next new moon with trepidation. He slipped into one of the kimonos Sesshomaru had brought him and, for the first time in a long time, he felt the itch to take Tessaiga. He knew he couldn’t though, but he touched the sword, let it comfort him for a moment, and left his hut. 

He still didn’t know how to feel about whatever change had happened their last night together but he knew something had. _ Something _ had been difficult with the way Sesshomaru had touched him, looked at him, talked to him. Or maybe it was just that _ he _had never noticed this thing before. Maybe whatever it was had been there from the start and he had just not seen it. He couldn’t put a name to ‘it’, but he knew it was there now. It scared him a little, but he also wasn’t going to run from it. He hadn’t run from Sesshomaru since he was a little kid and he wasn’t going to start now.

As Sesshomaru met him, not at the incline like normal, but on the edge of town he felt that shift in this _ thing _ again and it caused his heart to skip with fear. There Sesshomaru stood, looking as immaculate as ever, this time in a kimono colored with gold and black. He carried a package in his hands and Inuyasha knew exactly what it was. He knew it was another kimono, the one Sesshomaru had talked about last time, the one to bring out his eyes.

He refused to let his steps falter as he approached his brother and looked up at him, trying to keep the nervousness from his face. “You don’t usually meet me here.” He pointed out the obvious, feeling a need for an explanation.

“I thought you might want to change into your gift once you opened it,” Sesshomaru answered, and there was something in his voice that he couldn’t quite place. He watched, transfixed as Sesshomaru held out the package and when Inuyasha seemed to have trouble getting his arms to move, he helped, opening the gift for him and letting the fabric cascade down so Inuyasha could see the true splendor of the gift he had been given.

Suddenly Inuyasha realized exactly what this was and exactly what this pounding in his heart was and not running seemed like a very very dumb thing to have tried to do. Because if he had run, run as far away as he could, he wouldn’t have had to come face to face with that he had been missing this whole year. He wouldn’t have to see Sesshomaru hold out what was obviously not a simple gift, it was a declaration of _ love. _

How had he missed this? How had he _ missed this? _

The kimono was beautiful beyond anything that Inuyasha had seen. The fabric he knew had to be demon spider silk and the patterns embroidered upon its surface were made with what looked like spun silver. Thousands upon thousands of tiny pinpricks of thread swimming across the dark violet fabric to make what Inuyasha knew would be a perfect replica of the night sky upon a moonless night.

It was a kimono made specifically for the human woman that Inuyasha currently was. A violet that matched her eyes and the stars upon a moonless night that she loved so much. It wasn’t just a gift like the other kimonos, it was a sign that Sesshomaru had been listening, had been watching, and had _seen_ _her. _

“Why?” He finally managed to choke out. It was too beautiful. Too gorgeous. His chest hurt so much and now he knew. He knew what had changed, what he had missed, and it scared him more than anything. He suddenly saw just how badly he had fucked up, how selfish and blind he had been, and how deeply he was going to have to hurt his brother all because he hasn’t seen what had been right there for him to see this whole time. He was going to have to hurt him and Inuyasha was going to have loose this: This companionship he suddenly realized he had become so dependent on.

He couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe _ this. _ “Why?!” He begged again, wanting to know why his brother was forcing him to face this, to face the realization of what _ this _ was. Why couldn’t he have lived in ignorance just a little longer?! Just until he didn’t need these moonless nights any more?! 

Tearing his eyes away from the kimono he looked up at Sesshomaru desperately, hoping that he could find some kind of explanation there. “I can’t- this is- why are you _ doing this _ to me?!” He demanded, shoving at Sesshomaru through the kimono he held out for him. He couldn’t make Sesshomaru stumble, not in this form, but his outburst seemed to break something in Sesshomaru’s expression, turn that look that before had been so unreadable but that now Inuyasha recognized as _ hope _into something shattered.

“Go away.” Inuyasha said when he didn’t get an answer right away. “Just go away! I can’t- I can’t _ do _ this! Go away _ !” _He yelled but when he looked up Sesshomaru was already gone and the kimono was laid, carefully, at his feet.

Inuyasha had a moment when he wanted to kick it in frustration but didn’t. Instead, he picked it up carefully like such a fine piece of clothing deserved and left for his hut. 

He wondered if Sesshomaru would be back the next new moon.

He wondered if he would go out to meet him. 


	2. Yoru

###  CHAPTER 2: Yoru

Sesshomaru fell in love on a moonless night. He had never fallen in love before, not in a romantic sense, so it had taken him time to realize that that was what had happened. The only person he could accurately say he had loved had been Rin but he had been well aware that his love and devotion towards her were not the kind of love he felt now for this woman. With Rin he had seen her as a child he needed to care for and protect, and later he had grown to see her as his own daughter and someone that would always hold an important place in his life, even after her death. 

He did not feel the same way for this new human woman whom he had met wandering, seemingly lost, through Inuyasha’s forest. She had been stumbling here and there in the dark and smelling...odd. There was a familiarity to her that Sesshomaru couldn’t place. Like he should  _ know _ her but as he gazed upon her face he couldn’t place her in any of his memories. Perhaps he had seen her in the village before and simply not paid attention? It was likely but there was still something that made her seem off.

He had approached her then, hoping a closer inspection could help answer his questions but while her eyes looked familiar, the rest of her failed to draw up any recognition. Her scent had been just as baffling. There had been the smell of incense upon her cloths, like that of a priestess, but he sensed no power from her that would suggest such a thing. Overwhelmingly she smelled of dust and age to an extent that he had to wonder if she was even alive or was, instead, a specter. Yet he could not smell death upon her, perhaps the incense was meant to mask it? 

Deeper still was the familiar smell of his brother but he could not tell if that was coming from her or the forest around her for his brother’s scent permeated the area, telling all who entered that it was his. Beyond that, he could find nothing but the smell of humans and, no matter how hard he tried to place her he simply could not.

Sesshomaru had guided the maybe-human back to the village before turning his attention back towards his true destination: Rin’s grave.

—————

The next he saw her it was once again a new moon and the human woman seemed to be out once more for a walk. She did not smell so strongly of dust and age this time when Sesshomaru approached her and he noted the change. He had taken a moment to look her over, again trying to understand her and what she was. That familiarity was still there, as if he only needed to dig a little deeper into his mind. Even the fire and annoyance in her voice was familiar, something that made him nearly tilted his head to try and place it. Surely he should be able to recall a human so bold as to talk to him in such a way? It was enough of a conundrum that he forgot to feel any anger or annoyance at the woman at all. 

When again nothing came to him he finally took a moment to hand her the sandals he had gotten for her. In truth he had almost forgotten about this lost human woman until he had seen the warazori and remembered her dirtied and damaged feet as she stumbled through the forest. It had been a whim, just like the presents he used to get for Rin, but he had long ago stopped trying to suppress such things and simply gotten the woman the shoes. He did not linger after that, but he was surprised to feel an odd sense of contentment to see her wearing them the next new moon.

By the third time he saw her, he started to wonder then if the woman only had one yukata as it was the only outfit he had ever seen her in. So, next he had the chance, he got her a simple kimono that she could wear alongside the singular outfit she seemed to favor. He still could not place her in his memories, but her scent was starting to become familiar as simply her own with each new moon.

As time passed Sesshomaru found himself paying less and less attention to her scent and more attention to her. There was a deep sadness to her and a deep pain that Sesshomaru had to wonder about. He thought she must be in mourning and found himself feeling oddly sympathetic. He was still mourning Rin, far more than he would admit to anyone, and there was an odd comfort in having someone nearby silently going through similar pain.

He found himself truly enjoying these moonless nights and the calming silence they brought. The woman was right, the stars were beautiful and Sesshomaru allowed himself a small amount of time to enjoy them and reminisce of his time with his daughter. Her death had brought him great sadness but Rin had lived a good life and a long one, he had given her everything he could and he knew that she had died happy and fulfilled. he did not let his sadness over her death hold him back, but it was still nice to have small moments to remember her.

Out here, under the moonless night, he let himself think of her and mourn, less for her death and more for his newly found loneliness. He had lived for nearly two hundred years with no one but himself before Jaken had entered his life, and still another seventy before Rin had joined him. He also knew that there was little reason for him to feel lonely now, he still had Jaken after all, and Ah-Un for all his dragon counted, but Rin had brought a certain light to his life that simply could not be replaced. 

A few more months passed and small conversations began to emerge between him and the human woman who spent this night by his side. They were hardly important conversations, never about anything truly meaningful, but every night he found he had to stop himself from confiding in her about Rin. In telling her why he was here and why he always carried the flowers she had taken to teasing him lightly about. He realized, too, that something was very different with these interactions. That he had found an easy comfort with this woman, that odd air of familiarity that he could not understand pushing him towards a warmth he could not place. What was it about her that made him feel like he could trust her? That he could be open with her? What drove him to keep coming to her for the simple comfort of her presence? What was it about her that brought him  _ comfort? _

As the year anniversary of Rin’s death approached and he realized that it would fall on one of thir moonless nights he forced himself to look back on his and this woman's nights together and really  _ look _ at them. He thought, at first, that maybe it was because she reminded him of Rin but he quickly dismissed the thought. Beyond her being human the woman was nothing like Rin. While Rin had been soft and warm and full of childish energy, this woman was cold sadness, hard edges, and a hidden harsh fire. 

He liked to think that he does not lie, and that includes to himself. No matter how much the truth might hurt him and he had to admit that, while curiosity had initially driven him to this woman, a want for companionship and the odd familiar comfort the woman brought him had kept him returning. He also had to admit that he truly loved her company. The silence between them as they watched the stars alongside the fire in her eyes that he had only caught glimpses of those few times he driven away her sadness for a brief moment with indignant anger. Looking back on it, he realized he had been pushing her, trying to draw out responses that were not simple melancholy, and that he had wanted to see  _ more. _ He wanted to see her face light up with that fire that seemed so close to the surface, dampened only by her deep sadness. He wanted to see what she looked like when she was happy, when she laughed, when she was angry, yelling, full of joy, full of love.

He wanted to see all of that and more, and with each visit, he had been pushing her in small ways to allow himself to get small glimpses, peaks of who this woman was below her sadness and he  _ still _ wanted more.

He could admit to himself when he had done something stupid, and here he had done something he considered to be the greatest act of stupidity. He knew now that he had fallen in love with a human woman, and all because she had drawn him in with an interesting smell. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath at the thought. Perhaps he could stop this now, pull these emotions out at the root and move on. Yet the image of her face as she gazed upon the stars on their moonless nights filled his mind and he knew he was already lost. He could no more leave her then he could leave Rin when he had found her all those years ago attacked by wolves.

What would his father think of him now? He would probably be proud of him and Sesshomaru hated the demon a little more for that.

\---------------

One year had passed. Before Rin one year had been nothing to him, but Rin had taught him just how short a human life could be. In that one year, he had seen this human woman less than twelve days and only now knew what he truly felt for her. He realized how little he saw this woman now and twelve days a year suddenly seemed like not enough. That he was moving far too slow in this. He was left with the feeling that he needed to do something more. Give her something more so that she would  _ know.  _ So that they could move forward before she was truly lost to him.  _ _

Perhaps it was the anniversary of Rin’s death that pushed him to do it, but that night he sat and he told the woman all about her, about the human girl he called his daughter, and about her death. It was the most intimate thing he could give this woman and as she looked at him with such sad understanding it had taken everything he had not to reach out and kiss her. Thank her for her understanding of his pain. For being there. He had seen his sadness mirrored in this woman’s eyes often and he wanted to ask what drove it, if it was simply loneliness like his own or if it was something deeper. Had she lost a child too? He had wanted to kiss her, but he had not. 

As the end of the night drew to a close his mind wandered back to how short human lives were and that year that had already passed and he could not stop himself from touching her then. It was the first time he had done so. He looked into her eyes, drinking in the sight of them, and he felt a strong need to thank her once more, for being there, for understanding, for making him feel a little less alone. Thank her for these moonless nights that kept him going after each visit to Rin’s grave. 

Again he wanted to kiss her but he settled for promising her a kimono. He commissioned it from the greatest weaver he knew, a spider demon of great skill, and when it was done he knew it was well worth the cost. He could already imagine her in it, how her black hair would cascade across the back, how it would cause her eyes to light up, a perfect compliment to them. How the silver stars upon it would shimmer and swirl as she moved, turning her into a perfect representation of the moonless night they both loved so much.

Sesshomaru was unsure if he would be able to stop himself from kissing her when he saw it upon her, but he would cross that bridge when he came to it.

He had expected many reactions to his gift once he gave it to her, joy, wonder, love. He had gotten only one of those: wonder mixed with surprise, but it had only lasted for a brief moment before the fire in her eyes had flared to life and her anger and fear had taken over. He had never expected that she might not feel the same for him as he felt for her and he suddenly felt like a fool for having expected anything at all. 

He had left her there, she had made her feelings known and he would not force her to stay in his presence and, in truth, he didn’t know if he could stay in hers. He didn’t understand. What had he missed? What had gone wrong? Had he been so caught up in his own feelings and emotions that he truly hadn’t noticed that she did not feel the same? He had been so sure that she must have felt something like love for him but he suddenly realized that he didn’t know that to be true. The only two people that had ever truly loved him and that he loved in return had loved him from the moment they had seen him. Somehow he had thought she would be the same. 

He sat next to Rin’s grave that morning and realized he had lost the flowers he had brought for her and realized, again, just what a fool he was.

——————-

He tried not to return the next moonless night but there is a sharp pain inside him when he thought of her waiting so he went, just in case. She is not there when he arrived though and he found that hurts worse. Still, he sat upon their incline and watched the stars until the sun came up and he had to leave, heading back to Jaken and Ah-Un.

It is the same the next moonless night and the pain was slightly less this time when she did not show up. He had expected it. But still, he sat and waited. He wondered how long he will do so and almost smiled humorlessly at the image of a dog patiently awaiting its master's return. What a fool he was.

‘I will not wait that long’ he told himself. While this was the first rejection he had ever faced he told himself that he could take it. He did not need to suffer through the presence of those that do not want him around. 

He was just preparing to leave when a familiar presence arrived at the top of the incline and and he got to his feet. He looked up to the road and saw his brother who is giving him a look of heavy confusion. It was a look he was familiar with and he knew, somehow, that his brother has found out about his visits here.

“Is there a purpose to your visit inuyasha or do you just plan to stare?” He asked, suddenly feeling both tired and annoyed. Inuyasha’s expression shifted to, mirroring the emotions running under Sesshomaru’s own skin. He noted his brother was wearing his fire-rat robes, something he only did now when he was expecting a fight. He had to wonder if he thought it would be against him.

“I want to know why you are harassing the village women,” Inuyasha said, baring his teeth. He had his sword at his hip but had yet to draw it, Sesshomaru wondered how long that would last. It had been a while since they had crossed swords, perhaps they could both do with a dual. 

Sesshomaru continued to look up at him though, expressions carefully blank. “The village women? To my knowledge I’ve only been coming here to see one.” He tilted his head a bit and he could hear Inuyasha grinding his teeth. He could tell his brother was upset by this but he couldn’t see why. What did Inuyasha have to do with this? Was the woman of some importance to his brother? Perhaps he had fallen in love with her too? Was he here to try and fight for his right to her? A foolish thing if so for Sesshomaru held no claim to her, such a decision would be the woman's choice alone. 

Or perhaps his anger was far simpler than that: a hatred at seeing Sesshomaru doing the same thing he had hated their father, and by extension Inuyasha for his whole life. Sesshomaru had to admit to the hypocrisy of the situation; to hate someone so thoroughly to wish and try to bring about their death only to then do the same thing you hated them for. In this Sesshomaru felt his brother’s anger was justified. In truth he hated himself for falling into this trap but life had changed him and he could not deny the truth of his feelings.

“One then! Just tell me what you think you are doing!” Inuyasha yelled out as he stepped forward down the incline and towards him. Sesshomaru could smell traces of the woman’s scent around his brother, so she had gone to him then. Had she gone to him for help? Had she known that Inuyasha was his brother? Had she sent him in her wake to completely turn him away? “Why are you  _ here _ Sesshomaru?” his brothers voice cut through his thoughts. 

_ Why.  _ She had asked him that too. He had thought it had been obvious.

“Because I love her.” He told Inuyasha simply. He had learned to use the word with Rin, to admit his love for her so that she would always know that she had it, but by the expression on Inuyasha’s face it was the last thing he had expected Sesshomaru to ever say. He should know by now that Sesshomaru did not lie, surely his words were not such a shock. 

He probably should have expected the punch when it came but he didn’t and it caused him to stumble back.

“You fucking bastard that’s not funny!”

“Do I look like I’m laughing?” Sesshomaru replied, rubbing at his chin slightly and looking back at his brother. “I did not plan for this. It has simply happened. If she has sent you out here to get rid of me then I will go. I will not force my presence upon her but I have more reasons then her to come to this village.” He tilted his head slightly in the direction of the graves “I will not stay away completely” not even for the human woman that he had fallen in love with he added silently in his head. 

Inuyasha looked lost and out of his depths, like he was warring with something. His expressions changed in rapid succession and Sesshomaru prepared himself for a fight before his brother finally seemed to deflate. “This conversation isn’t over.” He warned, pointing a finger at him, “and I swear if this is some kind of sick game or-“ he cut himself off and Sesshomaru knew his expression had turned thunderous at Inuyasha’s implications. How dare he imply that this Sesshomaru would ever do something so idiotic as fall in love with a human woman for a  _ game!  _ As if he would ever put himself through the humiliation of it, and worse the  _ pain _ of it simply because of a joke! His hand twitched at his side, wanting to draw his sword, wanting to draw his whip, but Inuyasha’s expression stole his hand and had his own anger falter. 

Sadness. His brother looked at his with such sadness that he felt something in his heart crack. It was a sadness that seemed all too familiar. why did it look so familiar? Why did he know that look? “Did Rin really change you so much?” He heard his brother asked, but the words were soft, confused. Sesshomaru answered automatically because he would never downplay Rin’s importance in his life, but also because his mind was trying to place the sadness in his brother’s eyes.

“Yes.” He said, equally as soft. “In both life and death.” He stepped away, turning to go, he needed to think and he needed to be away from Inuyasha to do so. “You may tell her that I will be here the next moonless night and if she wishes to never see me again then she needs simply not show up. I will take that as my dismissal.”

——————

Sesshomaru had tried to mull over his brother’s expression. The sadness in his eyes. There had also been a look of betrayal in them as well but that wasn’t where the familiarity lied. Eventually he had placed it: it was the same sadness that the human woman had upon her face most nights, but that simply brought up more questions. Why had Sesshomaru’s words caused such a response in his brother? Had he, perhaps, been reminded of his own early relationship with that priestess he had spent the last seventy years with? Had Sesshomaru’s response reminded him of his own loss? It was the only explanation he could think of and he almost felt bad for reminding Inuyasha of the priestesses death. 

He wondered for a moment as he made his way back to the incline the next moonless night, what his brother did to overcome his mourning. Perhaps protecting the village he lived within was enough for him. Or perhaps the children of his friends kept him company. There had been that small fox kit too, though Sesshomaru had not seen him around much in the last few years. Still, his brother obviously had ways to dealing with his loss that Sesshomaru did not, perhaps a benefit of being raised by humans and having faced such deaths before. Perhaps it got easier over time? Sesshomaru figured that it must. After all, his was doing far better this time with mourning Rin then he had with mourning his father, though he wasn’t sure how comparable to two deaths really were. Still that thought was a comfort, to think that each new passing would be easier than the last. 

He sat upon the incline that night, looking up at the stars and thinking about his brother, thinking about himself and the human woman, and thinking about loss and grief and death and wondering what he would do if the human woman did not show up this night. He knew he did not need her or these nights to truly to deal with Rin's death, his mourning was not so great that he could not manage it, but it had been nice to have these moments and he knew that he would truly miss them. He doubted he would be able to find them with anyone else or anywhere else. A new sense of sadness started to flood him which he pushed away. It was not yet sunrise and the human woman had yet to make her choice. He would not mourn his loss of her or these nights just yet.

Still, it was a long wait before he had heard soft footsteps approaching from the village and picked her scent in the air. He tried not to brighten with anticipation but beyond forcing himself to wait patiently for her to get to him he knew he failed. He sat up a little straighter, his ears and nose tracking her progress as she made her way to him. She paused at the top of the incline and he finally allowed himself to turn and look.

She was in her old yukata again, the same one she had worn the first few nights they had seen each other. It still smelled just as it ever had: of dust and age and incense. Still, he could see the choice in outfit for what it was: she had chosen to reject his advances and yet she was still there. It gave him a small amount of hope.

“I don’t know what to say to you.” She finally told him as she moved closer, standing over him slightly though with a careful distance between them, “or how to act around you now. I-“ she glanced away, as if trying to find her words and he could see her jaw working as she did so. “I was unprepared for your advances and I’m-“ he could hear her mumbling something under her breath but even that was below his hearing. He realized something suddenly and he almost had trouble keeping a smile from his lips.

“Have you been practicing this?” He asked, a slight teasing note to his voice that she picked up on as she turned to him with that fire in her eyes that he longed to see.

“Ass! This is important okay! I can’t- I’m trying to tell you I’m not ready for that shit! I might  _ never  _ be ready for that shit but I-“ her anger seemed to deflate and she looked away, down at the ground. “I like this. I like being out here and I like having someone- no. I like having  _ you  _ out here with me. I know it’s so fucking dumb and stupid of me and I’m setting myself up for-for some terrible shit in the long run but...I want to be here. I want you here. And I want to keep doing what we were doing just no...no romantic stuff alright? Not yet. Maybe not ever.”

Sesshomaru watched, knowing that unlike the practiced speech she had tried to give before that these words and emotions were her own. He didn’t know what heartbreak she thought she was setting herself up for, but he had some idea with the way humans were. Perhaps then the person she had been out here mourning was an old dead lover or one that abandoned her, or maybe she just worried about what being with a demon would mean for her. It did not matter and he did not push, he was simply happy to be given this chance. 

“Very well.” He agreed. It was easy to do so. “I believe I can do that.”

“And no more gifts!” She added quickly, “the kimonos were nice but- no more gifts alright? Just for now.”

He raised an eyebrow slowly at her at that request before also answering: “that I cannot promise.”

She threw a shoe at his head, the same one he had bought her, but it had been worth it.

——————

She had only stayed a short while that night and Sesshomaru did not try to get her to stay longer, knowing that the future of this relationship was now firmly in her hands. He would have to wait for her to make the next move if she ever did. 

He thought for a moment once the sun rose about going off to find his brother, of updating him on the events of the night if only to let him know that he did not need to get involved any further but the image of sadness upon his brothers face the last time made him decide against it, he did not want to drag up more old memories. Besides, he was sure the woman would have told him what she intended anyway.

The next few new moons were spent in mostly silence like there first few months together. They were learning each other again, learning where they stood now that Sesshomaru had rocked the foundation they had been upon. He left it to her to initiate the conversations like before and fully let her control their flow. The sadness as she watched the stars was thick in the air again but he did not move to break it. It was not yet his place.

————-

The next time she opened up, only slightly, it was in an unexpected way. Sesshomaru had been looking up at the stars, lost in his own thoughts and contemplations, when he suddenly heard laughter from his side. He blinked and turned and watched in wonder as the woman next to him laughed and laughed and laughed. He had never heard her laugh before, had hardly seen her smile in anything but sadness, and now he found himself wanting to memorize the sound and look.

“You know what I just realized?” She asked between gasped breaths and Sesshomaru knew it wasn’t a question he was meant to answer so he simply waited. “You don’t even know my  _ name! _ ”

He blinked at that as she kept laughing and he realized that she was right. He didn’t know her name, somehow he hadn’t even thought of asking. Why hadn’t he, he wondered for a moment. Why had he never asked her name and why did it feel like he should already know it? Like he  _ did  _ already know it but that it refused to budge from wherever it had hidden itself in his mind?

He could follow that line of thought later, see where that rabbit hole led, but for now he turned to her and asked “Very well, what is your name? If you are willing to share it.” He prompted, planning to fix this apparent gap in his knowledge as quickly as possible. 

This seemed to startle the woman though, as if she hadn’t expected him to ask after her confession and he watched as she seemed to struggle with herself, opening her mouth and closing it a few times before finally answering: “Yoru.”

“Yoru?” Sesshomaru repeated, brows furrowing slightly as he rolled the word around on his tongue. It didn’t feel right but he wasn’t sure what drove him to believe that. “That is a strange name.” He added, wondering if it was a false name she had just given.

“Ya well,” she shrugged, seeming to get defensive “I was born at night and my parents weren’t very creative. What about  _ you?”  _ She asked, giving him an expectant look. “I am pretty damn sure you haven’t given me your name in these two whole years” she told him, though she actually seemed unsure about that. Sesshomaru found himself unsure also. Had he truly never heard her say his name? Had he never given it?

“Sesshomaru.” He finally told her after determining that he must not have, not if he did not have her name either.

“Sesshomaru.” She said the name with confidence, looking pleased with herself, “and you’re teasing me over Yoru? What kind of name is ‘the killing perfection’”

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at her, she was teasing him and she looked genuinely happy doing so. He wasn’t too sure that he liked the change at his expense but he supposed he could put up with it if meant some kind of progress between them. “It is a demonic name.” He told her simply, “it is perfectly acceptable.”

“Mhm.” She agreed, her eyes shone with something, some kind of realization that Sesshomaru had not yet had. “Tell me ‘killing perfection’ are you really that good? Because let’s be honest,  _ I’ve  _ only seen you sitting around here.”

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at her, pursing his lips in a look of annoyance. “I am one of the strangest demons in this land. I have more than lived up to the name.” He insisted to her, turning his body to the side to fully face her as she didn’t seem convinced.

“I don’t know,” she said, tapping a finger on her chin and looking up at the sky, “I’m sure every demon would say that if you asked.”

“I do not lie.” He hissed at her, he could still tell she was teasing but it was successfully managing to get under his skin in a way he had not expected. He hadn’t felt the need to prove himself to anyone in over one-hundred years. It was jarring to feel the sensation again.

“Well, I suppose if you insist. I just don’t-“ She was cut off by a gasp as he pounced upon her and pinned her to the ground, catching his response too late to fully stop it but just enough to pull his attack, making it something a human could take. He looked down at her with wide eyes and she looked up at him with mirrored shock. 

“I apologize. I was not thinking.” He told her, looking her over desperately for injuries, thankful he hadn’t let his poison flow. “I forgot for a moment you were not a demon.” He confessed, moving to get off of her. She looked slightly started, a little frightened, but mostly confused. He sat back, giving her space to sit up even as she watched him wearily. 

“If I had known teasing you would have pissed you off that much I would have kept my mouth shut.” She huffed, though he could tell she wasn’t completely upset, she was being cautious but there was an odd way she was holding herself and looking at him that told Sesshomaru that she was thinking heavily about something.

“It was not that.” He tried to assure her, “your words were a challenge to prove myself. I...admit I instinctively took it.” 

“By attacking me?”

“I would not have truly hurt you.” He tried to reassure her, but he knew he had been close. For a moment he had forgotten she was only human. Why had he forgotten that?

While his own mind started to swirl clarity seemed to come to the woman, Yoru’s, face and a knowing smile seemed to spread. “You were trying to play wrestle with me!” She accused, pointing a finger at him and Sesshomaru felt his expression go carefully blank.

“I am no longer a puppy.” He told her instead of trying to deny what he could not. 

“You dodging piece of shit!” She laughed and her smile was so bright and beautiful it broke through Sesshomaru’s thoughts. It was all he could focus on as the woman crawled closer to him. “You were totally trying to play. Well, come on! Show me what you’ve got!”

She tackled him then and he caught her, having expected the move. They ended up rolling down the incline they were sitting on, her laughter filling the air as he both tried to keep a gentle hold on her as she tried to wiggle and fight free while simultaneously protecting her from getting injured.

She ended up breathless and laughing under him at the bottom of the hill, her hair a mess under her and her clothing grass stained and askew. That wasn’t what caught his attention though, what made him stare was the healthy flush across her cheeks and the joyful glow in her violet eyes as she tried to catch her breath. She was beautiful like that and, just like her laugh, Sesshomaru found himself wanting to memorize every moment of it.

It could not last forever however and soon enough she was shoving at his shoulder and going “Alright Alright that’s enough. It’s time for you to walk me home.” He did not complain at the order, he simply stood and helped her to her feet and watched, enraptured, as the smile on her face remained the whole way back to the village.

——————

Their visits become a little friendlier after that and she becomes a little more open in her signs of affection. Sesshomaru had never really been one for excess touching, but after being so thoroughly rejected by her all those months back he found himself willing to put up with the small things.

And they are small. There is no cuddling, certainly no kissing, in fact none of her shows of affection would likely be described as romantic or sweet by most human standards at all. She touched him though, light slaps on his arms when he said something she found to be funny. Light shoves when he teased her and she caught on, small bouts of wrestling here and there which were more her trying to tackle him and him trying to keep her from getting hurt. It has become a common enough occurrence that he finally started to show up without his armor in order to make things a little more ‘fair’.

Things went on like that for months which turned into years and while Sesshomaru still wanted more, still had to hold himself back from kissing her and rolling her onto her back and licking at her neck until she was flushed and begging, he found himself also enjoying this, these small emotion filled moments under the moonless sky. 

It is enough, until suddenly it wasn’t.

It hits him so quickly as he is watching her one night, chatting away about how the village seems to think she is some kind of babysitter, that it has been  _ years _ . That he has been sitting here, watching her for longer then he can suddenly remember. He tries to though, a sense of fear starting to come over him when he remembers that she is human, that time has passed for her, that he will lose her.

The same thing had happened with Rin. One moment she had been a child at his hip and next a young woman choosing to walk at his side and next an old woman, hunched with age and still smiling like a child when he brought her flowers.

And then next she had been dead and all he had of her was a gravestone and his memories of the human that he had called his daughter.

He found himself reaching out for Yoru then and pulling her close, hugging her to him and burying his head against her shoulder. He did not cry but he still thought about how cruel time could be as he wrapped her in his fur. He had done that with Rin a few times when she was younger, and many times when she was far older and the chill got into her bones. It had brought him some comfort to feel his tail around her, to feel her breathing within it though he could smell her advanced age upon her. He found comfort in this now too as he clung to this woman, the human woman that had intrigued him with her smell and had made him fall in love with her fire. He knew he would lose her too, far sooner then he had lost Rin. How much longer would he have with her? Fifty years? Thirty? Would she find a human husband and die in childbirth like so many human women seemed to? Would she succumb to a human sickness and be pulled from him in just a few short years? How ever long he had left he knew it would not be enough. It was never going to be enough.

His hold tightened and She struggled for a moment before he felt her settle, breathing softly against the side of his head before asking, gently and worried: “Sesshomaru? What’s wrong.”

He opened his mouth to answer but no noise came out for a moment, forcing him to swallow. before he finally finds his voice. “It’s been over ten years.” He whispered, voice breaking as he nuzzled against her neck. “One hundred and twenty days.” He laughed and it came out deep and bitter. “I have not even seen you for a full year and yet ten have passed.”

She did not seem to have an answer to that and so he simply sat there holding her, trying to memorize everything about her before she was lost to him too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've set up a Tumblr for those that might want to interact with me or ask questions about my work outside of Ao3. You can find me [HERE](https://redalgaebloom.tumblr.com)


	3. New Moon

### CHAPTER 3: New Moon

Inuyasha wasn’t sure what he expected Sesshomaru to say as he was suddenly pulled into a frankly unbelievable hug. He had seen him hug Rin, though that had been when she was close to death and Inuyasha knew he was not supposed to be witnessing it, but beyond that he had never seen his brother hug anything or anyone.

And yet, here he was, being nearly crushed to death by him. “Sesshomaru?” He prompted, trying to get some space between them but his brother’s tail only seemed to tighten “what’s wrong?” He asked, trying to get some answers for this odd and almost terrifying experience.

When the answer came though he found himself floored. Ten years, they had been doing this for ten years? 

He tried to count how many nights they had spent together and found that he couldn’t. Tried to think about how many winters had passed and realized it had been a lot. Far more than he had realized. He tried to put a date to it, tried to put some numbers to it. What had happened when this had all started? What had driven him here? To this moment in his brother’s arms?

That was right, Kagome’s scent. That’s what had pushed him out here. It had been fading from their home and he needed an escape. He had traded his hut then hadn’t he? When the loss has become too much. He had given it to one of Sango and Miroku’s grandchildren since she had been pregnant at the time. Her first kid. 

He passed that hut still, Sango’s grandchild had three kids now and her oldest…

He was nine wasn’t he.

He found himself clinging to Sesshomaru in return at the realization. How could so many years have passed?! What had he filled them with?! Work around the village, keeping it safe, helping to build new homes, new shelters, new shrines. Taking care of kids, letting them pull on his ears.

And this. These new moon nights with Sesshomaru. They had grown to be something unbearably important to him. Had given him something to look forward to month after month when the hole in his heart left by Kagome’s death had seemed to be too much.

He had started smiling again. Some time in the past ten years he had started smiling again and laughing again and _ living _ again. 

And it was because of these nights.

His chest hurt and he gasped out a breath as the emotions he had been trying to hold at bay for the last ten years came flooding up. Sometime in those years he had come to depend on this. Come to depend on Sesshomaru and yet he was fully aware of the fact that Sesshomaru was still in love with him.

No. No not in love with _ him. _ In love _ Yoru. _And shit how fucked up was that? His brother was in love with a made up version of himself, a human woman that came to see him once a month and who he had been so patient with. So understanding. He hasn’t pushed her or prompted her, hadn’t tried to get more from her then she had been willing to give.

Until now.

Now Sesshomaru was clinging to him like he might lose him if he let go. Inuyasha understood why. Knew the sudden pain his brother was going through, likely for the second time, and that Inuyasha himself was far too experienced with. Sesshomaru thought he was running out of time. That _ they _ were running out of time. How long did he say he had with Rin? Eighty years? He probably thought he had so much less with Yoku. Rin had been just a little girl when he met her but Yuko was a grown woman. He was probably sitting there calculating how much time he had left. He was probably thinking about Rin. About how it had never been enough time. How it would never be enough time.

Inuyasha didn’t know what to do.

He let Sesshomaru hold him until he couldn’t any more. Until the moment he knew that, if he didn’t leave now he wouldn’t get to his hut in time, and still a part of him was reluctant to make his brother let go. It had been ten years, wasn’t it time to let him know? He had been using him, using his love for this woman to get the comfort he needed, the companionship he craved. A part of himself liked to believe that Sesshomaru got the same, even if he didn’t know the full truth of everything, but he knew what he was doing was wrong. Sesshomaru deserved to know who ‘Yoru’ was even if it was only to assure him that she would not be dead any time soon.

He didn’t though. Instead he lightly hit Sesshomaru’s shoulder until he could finally pull himself from his arms and he let him walk with him to the edge of the village, their treck there completely silent.

In his hut he let His transformation take him, placing him back into his usual skin. He felt exhausted, the night and it’s events taking their toll but he pushed through it. There was somewhere he needed to go.

He thought about washing, but Sesshomaru’s scent clung to him like a second skin and he couldn’t bring himself to do so. He hated it but he understood the significance of the gesture and he couldn’t bring himself to wash it off. Instead he changed, putting on his fire rat robe, needing their comfort, and left his hut. 

He no longer visited the graves every three days like he used to and he knew that progress was also thanks to Sesshomaru and their moonless nights. He still came to tend to them every few weeks but his desperate visits he slowed over the years, the last ten years apparently. That was a second realization from last night: the fact that he had stopped counting. He knew now that Kagome had been gone from him for twenty-five years and soon enough she would have been dead far longer than they had been together, but somehow that thought wasn’t as painful as it used to be.

“Hey Kagome.” He said softly, taking a seat in front of her grave and noting the fresh flowers upon Rin’s. It seemed Sesshomaru did still drop them off, likely before he came to see Inuyasha. “It’s been a few weeks I guess but um. I’ve been working on that whole ‘keep going’ thing you wanted me to do and I...I think I’m doing pretty good now. I think I’ve actually started to...to heal.” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking down. He knew Kagome wouldn’t want him to feel guilty about recovering but he still did. He was still working on that.

“I still miss you so much. I don’t think I will ever stop missing you, or Miroku, or Sango. You guys are my family, something I had never had before. I’m not going to be forgetting any of that ever.

“But, speaking of family, I...shit Kagome I’ve fucked up and I’ve done it bad and now I don't know how or even if I can fix it. If you were here you would probably have something clever to say or to tell me to do but I’m not you and I don’t...I’m not smart enough for this.

“But uh. Sesshomaru and I, we’ve...been getting along really well lately and I know that you would be really happy to hear that since you always tried so hard to help us repair our shit relationship but I’ve done something so stupid that I don’t think I can fix without him hating me completely. 

“We’ve been getting along but he doesn’t know it's me. He thinks I’m...well I mean I _ am _ but. Shit. Look Kagome he’s fallen in love with my human self and I don’t know how to fix this! He has no idea it's me! He has no idea that I’m this human woman and I know, I _ know _ he loves her-me-I don’t- shit.”

He ran a hand down his face in frustration, taking a deep calming breath. “I haven’t exactly acted any different than myself. Maybe at first I tried so he wouldn’t catch on but I must have stopped at some point and somehow he still...he’s still in love with _ her. _

“I tried to stop it too, when I first figured out how he felt and I-” he laughed bitterly, “you probably remember the shit with that damn kimono. I came to talk to you then too.” he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I tried to stop it then, tried to stop seeing him again but...but I was so desperate for company and for comfort. He was still mourning Rin, still _ is _mourning Rin I think, and out of everyone still alive he was the only person who seemed stuck like me. Who seemed to understand. How stupid is that? Koga and Shippo both had their lives to get to, Koga has his whole family and Shippo with his magic lessons and here were me and Sesshomaru, still stuck in this place, mourning our losses and...it was nice knowing I wasn’t alone and I didn’t want to lose that.

“But last night he hugged me. And I mean really hugged me. Used his tail and everything which, ya It’s as fucking comfortable as it looks being wrapped in that thing. Um, anyway he wouldn’t let go and we both realized it had been ten years and he...shit Kagome he was already _ mourning me _ . He thinks I’m human. He thinks I’m going to _ die _ soon. He thinks...He was so broken and I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to tell him that ten years was nothing, that we still had hundreds of years to sit together during my human transformations but that would mean telling him who I am, telling him that the person he’s fallen in love with is _ me _ and not some random human woman. It means telling him and potentially losing this thing that's grown between us and I...I don’t think I’m ready to lose it yet Kagome.”

He wiped at his eyes, feeling the start of tears already and cursed under his breath, “Maybe when I’ve built more of a life for myself again like you wanted me to but right now...I don’t think I can lose this yet Kagome. Not yet.”

He sat there in front of her grave for the rest of the day, knowing he wouldn’t get any kind of answer but finding comfort there anyway. He still didn’t know what he was going to do but that way okay, he would figure it out. He would have to. 

\-------------------

He returned to the village, to his little hut, and slept until late the next day. His mind was still swirling, still thinking, but one thing that he told Kagome kept coming to his mind: ‘Maybe when I’ve built more of a life for myself again’. what the hell had he meant by that anyway? Life for himself? What would that even look like?

He glanced around his hut, at the food he had and at his blankets and clothes, boxes and old kids toys from over a hundred years ago. At the shrine he had built to Kagome and tried to imagine what a new life for himself would look like. What would he even want in it? New friends? New family? People to drop by and check on him? Someone to invite over for dinner?

His mind suddenly supplied the image of inviting Sesshomaru over to visit him, of having a family dinner with him and he laughed and laughed and laughed because something that had once seemed so far fetched suddenly became so easy to picture. As hilarious as the picture was, It was also an image he found his heart longing for. What would it really be like? spending time with Sesshomaru here like he had done with his friends? Having him around for dinner? Inviting him to spar? Maybe even asking him to go on adventures with him? What would it be like having more nights with him then just the moonless ones?

He realized suddenly, just what Kagome would tell him if she was there. Why did he need to build a new life for himself so he could move on from Sesshomaru? Why not build a new life with Sesshomaru in it that way he didn’t have to move on at all? Why _ not _ ask him to visit? Why _ not _ go adventuring with him? Why not have family dinners?

The thought terrified him, but realizing just how much he wanted it. he knew just how badly this all could go. He could tell Sesshomaru who he was, tell him they had more time and that he wanted more time, even more then just the new-moon nights. But Sesshomaru could still respond in anger and hate. Ten years might not be much for a demon, but ten years of lies were still a toll. It was a terrifying thought, but If it meant family dinners and more then just moonless nights then Inuyasha realized it might be worth the risk.

————-

The next moonless night saw him preparing himself early, knowing that he had to look perfect. He had gone traveling that month, shopping for a new nagajuban, Obi, and shoes. He had to make sure they looked perfect, that it would look perfect upon him, as perfect as he could get it. He had found a pure white nagajuban with silver embroidery upon its tomoeri and a solid silver Obi to go with it. The shoes had been both the easiest and hardest thing for him to buy. He knew nothing of shoes or when to wear them but finally managed to purchase a well-made set of geta at the shoemaker's insurance that it was what he wanted.

With a deep breath and stealing his nerves he set everything out for himself and looked it all over before moving to his trunk. The dark violet Kimono Sesshomaru had gotten him all those years ago still looked just as beautiful as the day he had been gifted and he took a long moment to admire it, knowing exactly what he was about to do.

He dressed then, taking the outfit off and putting it back on more times then he was willing to count before he was satisfied with the way to lay across his skin. He had then had to tie and untie to solid silver obi multiple times before he deemed himself fully presentable, knowing he wanted every inch of himself to be perfect. Finally he slipped on the pair of wooden geta, the shoes Sesshomaru had gifted him having been long warn through, and made his way to their incline. 

The moment Sesshomaru saw him he could see the struggle in his eyes and Inuyasha realized just how easy his brother had become to read. He didn’t think anything had really changed about how he expressed himself, rather that Inuyasha now knew what to look for and what he was looking at now was a demon who was warring with himself. Inuyasha wondered if it would lead to Sesshomaru clinging to him again or trying to kiss him. He hoped it wouldn’t, it would just make this night that much harder if he did.

Inuyasha approached him slowly, mostly because the kimono restricted him movements, and Sesshomaru seemed transfixed, as if under a spell. He didn’t even move once Inuyasha was in front of him. It was only Inuyasha's hand reaching out lightly to touch Sesshomaru’s shoulder that seemed to break the spell but only for a moment as Sesshomaru reached up and touched his hand in return. 

“You look beautiful.” Sesshomaru said and Inuyasha knew he meant every word. It made him smile sadly up at his brother, an apology for everything he was about to do to him. Sesshomaru seemed to notice it and a slight frown pulled at the corner of his lips. If Sesshomaru had been thinking of kissing him he wasn’t any more.

Inuyasha laced their fingers and pulling him down their hill.

There was a melancholy feel in the air as they sat but if Sesshomaru noticed he didn’t comment on it and neither did inuyasha and soon enough their conversations flowed just as before. Inuyasha sat closer than normal, keeping their hands linked and feeling as Sesshomaru’s tail brushed against him. He could tell his brother wanted to wrap him in it but was holding back.

As the night wore on their conversation faded and they both ended up in their comfortable silence, but inuyasha could tell that his brother was watching him rather than the stars. There weren’t many things give his brother, but a night with the woman he loved wearing the beautiful gift he had given her as a sign of his love was one of them. 

“I’ve been thinking.” He finally said as night started to turn to early morning and Sesshomaru finally moved to stand, already used to knowing when he needed to walk Inuyasha home. Inuyasha simply held his hand tighter and didn’t let him get up. “I’ve been thinking about how I’ve been using these night, using you, to try and get over my loss. I kept telling myself that, once I got my life in order, got everything back on track, that I wouldn’t need this anymore. That I could let you go. Let these night go.” He felt Sesshomaru’s hand squeezed his lightly as he went on. “I don’t know what the future looks like for me or...or where it’s going, but I realized after last month that I wanted you to be a part of it. I don’t really know how yet, but I want you around to try and figure it out.”

“Yoru-“ Sesshomaru’s voice started, soft and hesitant but it was Inuyasha’s turn to squeeze his hand and silence him. He turned to look at him, really look at him. He knew this was either going to be a start of something more for them, something that had the capacity to heal their relationship, or the distraction of everything they had built.

“I want to watch the sun rise with you.” he said softly, looking pleadingly at his brother “If you’ll let me.”

Sesshomaru seemed to hesitate for a moment, obviously startled by the intensity of all that had happened this night, but eventually he did settle back down next to him. 

As the sky started to lighten Inuyasha knew that this was it, there was no turning back now. The change happened in moments, as soon as the sun peeked over the hills to the east, and he felt Sesshomaru’s hand go slack in his before completely letting go. 

“I’m sorry.” Inuyasha told him, his voice no longer that of Yoru’s but his own. His hand felt cold without Sesshomaru’s to hold it “I should have told you sooner.”

When he turned to look at where Sesshomaru had been the space was empty and Inuyasha had to wonder if he would ever see his brother again. 

————-

It was six months before he saw Sesshomaru once more. Still he went out every moonless night to sit under the stars. He found that they still brought him comfort and gave him something to look forward to each month even if Sesshomaru wasn’t there to share it. He still found himself missing his company though. Sesshomaru never did talk much, but it had been nice having someone to talk to and have listen.

He knew Sesshomaru still came to the area. He still caught his scent every so often and still sees fresh flowers upon Rin’s grave, but his brother never sought him out and Inuyasha gave him his space.

He wondered if his brother was also mourning the woman that he had loved now too. Now that he knew the truth.

When his brother finally does approach him again it is on a moonless night. He appeared late in the evening at their same slope and he stood a distance from Inuyasha, simply watching him. Inuyasha had worn his yukata because ten years of habits were hard to break. 

He looked over at Sesshomaru when he didn’t move any closer and offered the space next to him with a pat, unsurprised when his brother didn’t take it. He saw his brother studying him and wondered if he is trying to find _ him _ under _ her. _

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sesshomaru’s voice finally came and Inuyasha shrugged, turning to look back at the stars.

“At first I didn’t want you to know that this happened to me once a month. It’s an obvious weakness. After that...” he frowned up at the sky, “I didn’t want to lose what we had. It was nice to have someone there you know? Someone who cared even if...even if you didn’t know it was me. These night they...were important to me. For one night I didn’t have to feel so lonely”

“You kept up this lie for ten years.” And now there was anger in Sesshomaru’s voice, but also sadness. So he had been mourning then. “Why change it now?”

Inuyasha took a deep breath and looked over to his brother, he had been practicing this speech for months and he wasn’t going to fuck it up now. “Because you were already mourning her, mourning _ me. _ That night, when you held me and suddenly ten years had passed I realized what you were seeing, what you were realizing, and you were clinging to me because you could already see me _ dead. _

“I couldn’t do that to you. Even if I had still hated you for our past I couldn’t bring myself to continue with that lie and let you think, with each passing year, that I was slipping further and further away from you. I remember how much that hurt, to see someone you love get older, knowing they would die eventually no matter what you did. I know you’ve already experience that pain once, I couldn’t let you keep thinking you were going to have to go through it again.” He turned back to the stars and brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.

“I am sorry I hurt you,” he went on, “but I’m not dying any time soon and what I said to you that last night is still true, I still want to try to have you in my life. So if you want that too well...your still welcome to keep me company on my human nights and really any other day or night you feel like dropping by. Maybe we could even try at a family dinner sometime. Could be interesting.”

It took a long while, probably hours, but finally Inuyasha felt the grass move next to him as Sesshomaru took his usual place. He smiled: maybe they still had a chance after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END
> 
> I hope everyone enjoyed this short little story! The ending is open for interpretation so if you want to imagine an eventual romantic relationship forming then go for it, but if you want to imagine that now that the truth is out there that Sesshomaru and Inuyasha work on growing their sibling relationship then that is also a perfectly good reading!
> 
> As always feel free to interact with me on twitter of tumblr under the same user name as here: RedAlgaeBloom


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